Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
