Fuck appropriateness.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
