JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
