I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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