Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
two words...techno handjob
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I need moral support for this bender
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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