Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
