where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
