Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
