U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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