I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
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