oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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