i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
