I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
