Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
