i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
