I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
