Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
