I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
