yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
