maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
