I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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