Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize