So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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