Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize