She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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