First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
