i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
