Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Hippo gnu deer
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
