Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize