The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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