just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
