last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
