I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You took a bar mat shot.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
