yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
