do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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