i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
