I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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