Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
