you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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