everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
