I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
being pregnant is like rehab
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
