I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
