It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
