you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
