fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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