I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
