yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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