Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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