1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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