Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I understand Curling. That high.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize