Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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