Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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