he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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