Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
