none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
be right there i have to get my cape
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
