My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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