I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
