Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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