Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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