just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
