I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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