Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
