you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
